The CTAN IPCC Challenge

Plus, the Top Five Greenhouse Gases

The IPCC issued their 6th assessment report synthesis (AR6), and I’m not sure they ever intended to issue six of these. Like, I imagine the first time they released the IPCC report in 1990, maybe they thought we’d have done a bit more by this point. That humanity would have banded together, in the face of an imminent threat, and taken decisive action to save mankind, the way Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck did in Armageddon.

(FYI, I would be Rockhound, because I would totally take out a $100k loan from a shark and go crazygonuts in Vegas before going on this mission. Also I cry when Ben Affleck yells I LOVE YOU HARRY while he’s going up in the elevator.)

We have definitely made a lot of progress though, and that’s not nothing. People are starting to take the threats seriously, and importantly, we’re committing to developing solutions. Maybe not fast enough, and maybe not with enough urgency or money. But at least we’re mostly done arguing about whether climate change is actually Is A Thing™.

I am going to admit that I have never actually read the IPCC report. I read a lot of press about the IPCC report, and a lot of discussion on The Hellsite. And the reason for this is that I have the attention span of a chipmunk who also has 6 year old twins to take care of. The AR6 synthesis report is actually the conclusion of a literary cycle that started with the Working Groups I, II, and III reports over the last 2 years. The summary for policymakers is 36 pages. The “longer” report is 85 pages. And there’s a terrifying sounding placeholder for something called the “SYR Full Volume (coming soon)”.

So, I am going to throw down the gauntlet and see how many of you are paying attention. We’ve been running the 1.5C Panel for almost a year now, and it’s a lot of fun to talk to people who are trying to build our way out of this mess, it’s kind of a rare bright spot in the otherwise gloomy climateverse. But it does cost money, and we need support in helping to continue that work. So, this week I am introducing…

THE CTAN IPCC CHALLENGE

The rules:

1. Give us money.

2. If we get $200 in donations before April 30, I will read the 36 page Summary for Policymakers and give you my noteworthy commentary.

3. If we get $1000 in donations, I will read the entire 85 page Longer Report and host a Q&A event where you can ask me questions, and I will stage a dramatic reading of selected passages.

And, in honor of the IPCC report, we present

THE TOP FIVE GREENHOUSE GASSES

My wife says everybody loves lists, so here we go.

drdianagordon

A post shared by Diana Gordon, Psy.D., Psychologist (@drdianagordon)

The Top Five Greenhouse Gases

1. Everybody’s favorite number one villain, responsible for 79% of climate change: Carbon dioxide. It’s got what plants crave. Mostly the result of burning dead dinosaurs.

   

2. Methane is responsible for 15% of climate change, as we discussed last week. Largely due to digging up liquified dead dinosaurs, but also cow burps.

3. Nitrous oxides aka NOx, is a class of molecules such as NO, NO₂, and of course, the well loved party favorite of 15 year olds everywhere, N₂O. Mostly comes from fertilizers, but also cars. Responsible for 7% of climate change.

4. Fluorinated gases are really bad. They have about 25000x the GWP of CO2, but there’s a lot less of them so they’re only responsible for about 3% of climate change. They mostly come from refrigerators and air conditioners, in the form of hydrofluorocarbons (HFCs). Ironically, we started using these because before that we were using chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) that were destroying the ozone layer, which is REALLY bad. CFCs were invented by the brilliant chemist Thomas Midgely Jr., who also invented tetra ethyl lead, the “lead” in “leaded gasoline”, which we also had to phase out because it was slowly poisoning everyone.

5. For our bonus round, water vapor traps heat in the atmosphere, because water can hold a lot more heat than air (i.e. it has a higher specific heat capacity). This is problematic because, as the planet heats up, this tends to create more water vapor due to the Clausius–Clapeyron relation (like steam rising off a hot pot of water). This feedback loop acts as a multiplier, causing greenhouse gases to trap about twice as much heat as they would otherwise.

In re: #4: I always feel kind of bad for Thomas Midgely Jr. I work for an industrial research institute, and I am trying to do my best to steer the Titanic away from the rocks. But it’s hard to know what the future consequences of our actions might be, and maybe someday the New York Times will be writing about how I was actually history’s greatest monster. There but by the grace of god go we.